Why Does Holy Scripture (Paul) Tell Us We Are Subordinate To Men?

Recently at Mass Father's homily referenced Ephesians 5.  Marital theology for the newly formed Christian community is being presented and explained.  Its goodness is its ability to take chaotic times and create a sense of direction and purpose.  The new Christian community, in following the teachings of Christ, will "look" and "act" differently, in a more fuller way then that of the secular culture.  Paul instructs women to be subject to their husbands and husbands to treat their wives as if they were their very lives.  Divinely inspired and necessary for a time of extreme inequality of men, women, and children, a time when sexual pleasures ran rampant and resulting children possibly left to die in the elements, a time when women, after having worked hard as helpmate, were being discarded, abandoned and impoverished for someone younger and more sexually attractive.  Christian marriage was an opportunity for Christ's mission of love to enter into the very fabric of society and elevate the people's value through equality, fidelity, and the love and nurturing of children within the family home.

On this particular Sunday the priest spoke to the women in the pews telling them of their need to be subject to their husbands and then joked that if their husband was not treating them as if they were as important as their husband's body, then they should remind them that "Father said..."  I bowed my head at that point and in my heart told Father "You are being way too simple here.  Many women are hit at this point."  I sat for a moment longer and thought "Father, you are ignorant because there is no helpful theology of women within the Church to explain things to you.  Us women need to let you and others know what the current depth of this Scripture passage is as a gift of God's grace to you, to us, and to the future children of the church." On the car ride home I turned to my two teenage girls in the back seat and I told them that Father should not have made "light" of such an important topic for our "age" and that they were not subordinate to anyone, except the will of God.  God was calling them to be co-stewards with their brothers in Christ but not "subject" to their permissions, their education, their instruction.  Times are more legally equal and the spiritual depth of the passages have not been fully dug without women weighing in on them theologically. 

The time has come within our culture and the greater world for us to realize that we have grown philosophically, theologically, academically, physically, and spiritually for us to "wonder" and be "curious" about our female and male created identities and relationships.  Scripture tells us that no one knows the spirit of the person except the person themselves through their relationship with the Holy Spirit of God.  Women have been called by God and by Pope Francis to open up and share the depth of their spiritual knowledge.  By doing this we can count on the promises of Christ and by His saints that "all will be well".  We do not have to fear each other spiritually.  Men and women were created by God to be mutually helpful to each other while tending His created world and the creatures therein. 

Paul wrote what he was spiritually inspired to write.  He did not know how this would be affecting humanity thousands of years later. He would not have known what the world would have been like as women continued to scratch out a more "equal" and complimentary existence.  He would not have known how so many have been abused and shunned due to the misunderstandings of his words.  He meant them to help create harmony and compassionate relationships.  Many times this did occur but just as many times, or even more often, women were abused for their lack of "submission".  They still are and until the Church has the language of the beaten woman placed within the homilies, until her cries of fairness and the love that Father spoke of do not preceed the sting of the slap or the punch in the stomach or the crunch of a broken jaw, we have not heard the depth of the Gospel.  I imagine another type of sermon.  A sermon where people leave uncomfortable for it is a difficult passage.  A sermon that goes something like..."We still have inequality in our world, our country, our community, our parish community, and our domestic churches that harm girls and women.  We have aged mothers being punched and pushed to the ground or left without even the slightest visitation or care from their children.  We have middle aged women being ostracized for their size, their age, their looks, their lack of fashionable clothing. Many are being laid off from their jobs due to ageism and made to think they are invaluable, maybe even being made to think they are guilty of growing older despite their fidelity and steadfast care for their career and/or child raising or wifely committments.  Young women are constantly being sexualized on the internet, in books, magazines, at the corner ale house, in the movies, at the local clothing stores, in the universities and high schools, etc.  And young girls are being raised to accept their "role" instead of seek out through spiritual discernment their true authentic creation and the spiritual gifts and possible spiritual graces that the Holy Spirit has given to them.  This is the reality.  The Church and the world needs Christian "light" and we have to come out from under our bushel baskets and shine with the knowledge that women have been affirmed by God to be equal to their male brothers.  We have to make our homes, our neighborhoods, our workplaces, our parishes, our culture, and our nation places where women can thrive and be allowed to learn what it means to be fully a daughter of Christ and be able to do this with their brothers assisting them.  Go, look justly at your home life, at your work place, at the shops, the airports, the hotels, the movie theater and when we say at the end of Mass 'Go, and serve one another." you will know what it is that you have to do, you must do for those women in your lives that you love with the love of your own self.  Then, come back and tell us what you have seen so that we may all grow in your knowledge.  Share it at the council, share it at the various committee meetings, share it at the teacher meetings, in the dining halls, in the gathering place.  Let no one be silent for you are the hands and feet of Him who died for you so that you can impact the Church and the world."  That is part of a sermon I want my daughters, granddaughters, and great granddaughters to hear.  How affirming.  How uplifting.  How transforming.

Does all of my writing lead to me stating that I want the equal opportunity to be a priest?  NO.  I do not have a calling to the priesthood.  Nor do I have a calling to the religious life.  I asked God and He gave me "dead air".  Instead I have a calling to theology, to the study of Him and His revelation of Himself to mankind and I am expected to write with a prophetic voice that women are being called to let the Church and the world know their stories, to let the Church and the world know their relationship with Jesus Christ through their relationship with His Spirit that dwells within them.  In this age of communication any woman can pull out her keyboard and type.  Pick a blog, write a letter, call someone and begin the conversation.  We have a voice and it needs to be heard.  That voice is a gift of grace to the Church and the world as a merciful act from our merciful God.  He is waiting to see how we will answer His calling.  Will we speak with the authority of one who knows who she is? Will we be courageous and brave to look within ourselves and make time for a relationship with the Spirit, one we can clarify and share? Or will we be a part of another generation of women who raise our daughters, granddaughters, and great granddaughters to be victims to the human they submit themselves to and blame the Church because "Father said..."? 

Holy Week and Mothers

Holy Week is once again upon us as those of Christian faith.  Yesterday we celebrated the liturgy of Palm Sunday where we are reminded that all of us human beings are sinful.  The Church in Her worship wants to assist us in asking ourselves "Where would we have been as Christ entered into Jerusalem?  Would He have been the 'flavor of the month' with His exciting miracles and subtle hints at messianic kingship over Rome?  Would we have been in the group of His disciples in awe of how the people seemed to flock around Him and love Him?  Would this be our sign that all was going well with the mission?"  Thus, we carry palm branches into the church while singing "Hosanna".  We enter into our pews and then listen to the reading of Christ's passion and crucifixion while including us with the role of reciting the words of those who turned on Jesus and demanded His death.  I have always struggled with saying those words.  I have hoped and prayed that I would not have been one of them.  The reality is, though, that even if I weren't, I still sin against Him through the choices I make in the day-to-day living of my life today.

So, you might ask, what does Holy Week have to do with mothers other than Jesus' mother was present throughout all of His suffering; somewhere on the periphery she watched and prayed and cried tears for her son who was being so unjustly convicted, tortured, and murdered before the cheers of so many.  The movie, The Passion of the Christ, has a wonderful scene that I will watch from time to time where Jesus falls carrying His cross within Mary's sight and she is remembering Him falling as a child and her running to help Him.  She comes through her memory of this and runs to Him once again whispering love as He holds her face in His hand and she goes to put her hand under His arm to help Him up.  Most of the time I cry watching this for the tenderness between child and mother is captured as well as Mary's vocation as first disciple is authentically played out. 

I ran into an old friend the other day at the store.  Hugs were shared as well as a quick conversation on family information.  I knew she had been very close to her mother and asked how she was.  Her demeanor and conversation were that of "exasperation".  Things had changed between them and mom was seen as having become relentlessly demanding of others and "troubled".  I told my friend that I had recently "had words" with my older daughters and that there are libraries filled with material written on what occurs between us as women...one growing older while the other transforms into a complete personhood.  I could have found myself being comforted that this type of relationship struggle happens a lot but I was not.  Instead it has been on my mind almost continuously and I have asked God to please bring His wisdom to my heart and my mind so that my future actions will be motivated by His love.

One thing I am fairly certain about within this Mother/Daughter battle is that we have given up looking for each others "Godliness".  We are all made in the image of God so He is there within the makeup somewhere.  We have also stopped affirming and celebrating being in relationship with each other.  The stress of differences crowd out the memories of love shared, sacrifices made, and support given.  Instead it seems that sparring over whether or not one has the right to make good or bad choices or whether we have been fully present in ways that were desired but came up short fill the airwaves.  Gentle hugs, warm "I love you's", and genuine desire to know what is occurring within one's life are smothered out by fear of possible conflict, "distance", vicious voicing of character "flaws", and the desire to have less troubling people within the "inner circle" of intimate relationships.  Before you know it there is little to share in conversation and proximity to one another.

Christ suffered and died for this?  I think it a good question to ask.  Those of us whose mothers have died can spread the guilt and shame by stating the fact that "You should be loving your mother because you do not know what it is like when she dies" but that only goes so far.  Many feel that life just may be a little easier without old mom around to point out possible difficulties or shortcomings.  But when we place the situation within the framework of Christ's suffering and death with the knowledge that He states to us that He came so that we may live and live abundantly, then all of us whose relationship between mother and daughter is not abundant must ask ourselves why not.  The answer cannot be, in truth, that the other person just isn't making it abundant for us.  For we are all capable of making choices that feed abundance; choices of mercy, compassion, assistance, etc.

I have let my daughters down.  I certainly am not and have not been a perfect mother.  I am trying to improve on being a more faith-filled daughter of God knowing that this should spill over into all of my relationships.  This Holy Week I put my relationships with my daughters and my son on the altar of my heart and ask God for the power of His resurrection to move us further into the fruitfulness of His abundance.  For some divine reason He has chosen that we be in relationship to one another as Mother and Child and Child and Mother.  It has been imperfect but I know in my heart that calling upon Him to once again bless these unions will right-order all that is possible within them.

May you have a quiet, reflective Holy Week with God.  May He bring renewal to your life through His resurrection and continued reign of mercy.  May you right order Him as your Savior and feel the peace that this brings.  AMEN

Keep Me Focused, O Lord!

Yesterday as I was walking with my two daughters from the car to the church for Mass I saw a small figure sitting on the pavement of the driveway with a sign in front of her saying "Homeless Vet. Please help."  I saw eyes looking out from the blanket that was wrapped around this person meant for warmth and/or hiding.  I groaned a little inside at what appeared to be a well maneuvered attempt to get money from Christians at the very doorway of their faith that would most certainly want for them to give alms to the poor and needy.  It was a bold, and from what I could see by the way others were handing out money, and well calculated move.

You see...I worked with the homeless and poor for ten years.  Many of them were veterans.  In the hope of helping them alter the cycle of homelessness I worked directly with Veteran Service Officers and Homeless Veteran staff.  Most of these professionals who were veterans themselves talked very openly against this type of attempt at getting quick aid because it was viewed as an undignified act for a person formerly in the military and an undignified act that presented the view that service providers were not helping or doing what was needed to help these individuals.  In reality it usually was those individuals who did not want to change their lifestyle or who were severely mentally ill and were not thinking about "dignity" that were panhandling in this way.  Whatever this situation was, though, it brought me back to the recognition of possible manipulations that in this case appeared to be very dramatic and successful.

A sin occurred during this Sunday walk from car to church.  I didn't stop walking at least not until I was almost to the door.  I saw this cold figure and kept walking on holding hands with my daughters.  My mind started to race with memories and mental checklists.  I hadn't worked with someone impoverished in this way for a long long time.  For a few seconds I did not know what to do.  Then, God's grace overcame my sin and jolted me into turning around and going back.  I said "hello" and was greeted with a woman's toothless grin.  Another parishioner who had been standing and staring at the figure handed her a $5 bill.  I asked her why she wasn't at any of the shelters where she could be warm and she said they "were all full".  I told her I had worked at the shelter and thought that it would be nice if she would let me take her there for a warm Sunday breakfast.  She declined.  I asked her what branch of the service she had been in and she said the "Navy".  I told her that staff from the VA frequented the shelters and they would help her.  She did not seemed surprised and still declined.  I invited her to come into church and sit with us in Mass and she told me she was from Arizona and as an Indian could not enter the church.  Like so many others before her I knew when the questions needed to cease so I told her that if she changed her mind, we would drive her to the shelter after Mass.  She thanked me and I returned to my family and went into the church.

My heart was troubled.  I didn't "feel" that I had handled things well and I was disappointed in myself that I almost walked on by.  I asked God to open my heart and let me know if I was to stay worshiping Him or return to talk with this homeless woman.  I didn't really get a sense of His direction but I had my daughter go and check to see if she was still there because I was going to go and re-engage her.  She was gone, nowhere in sight.  I was left with the memory that I hadn't even asked her her name.  I didn't even tell her mine.  Outside of Christ's house and I didn't even engage her as my sister in Christ.  It was a very poor response on my part.  I have become lax in my "seeing" and "hearing" and am in need of God's grace to stay focused on those around me who need me to be His comfort.  It is a sin; a sin as cold and demeaning as any other sin.  She wasn't at fault for my sin.  It was me...quick, distracted, fragmented, disconnected, measuring need.  God, please forgive me! and may this woman with her "yes ma'ams" forgive me for my inward groan at coming across her.  She may not even have needed the money.  She may be getting a pension.  She may have a home.  She may have a ride waiting to pick her up at 10 a.m. when Mass begins.  The sin is mine because I did not even dignify her life by asking her her name!

Spiritual Healing For Women Within the Church

On Sunday, while at Mass, I found myself staring at the altar and wondering what it would be like if all women and girls attending were invited up the steps to its holy place as an attempt at healing the affects of the disconnect that has been purported over generations.  I could feel within me the beginning sensations of a possible happiness; happiness to belong to a Church that truly believes in healing experiences, forgiveness, and the destruction of compartments.  I do not belong to such a Church for women and girls continue to experience the suffering of separation and placement within the current order. This statement is not about "women priests"; this statement is about the actualized dignity of each female person within the Church created by God and having the life giving breath of the Holy Spirit within her.  She is called to know this person and her beautiful gifts to be given to the Church and the world but is left with stunted choices that do not speak to the spirit within.

I know from experience that there are many convents where the sisters tend their altars and preach from their ambos to one another.  I know from experience that there are many priests who have the desire to help heal this fraction within the Church but because they do not enter into dialogue with the women who could assist them, they do not know what to do.  I know from my continued research that there are women who are writing daily about this necessary healing between the co-stewards of God's creation.  I just can't seem to place my finger on the fear that is keeping so many eyes and ears of faith closed to the well-documented movement of the Spirit of God.

This morning in my reading I came across some information and writings by a woman theologian, Phoebe Palmer, who wrote in the the 19th century about women and finding their identity at the altar "She finds her life and her power to speak in surrendering to the Word of God."  Now, how beautiful is that; how beautiful would it be to draw all of our senior women, who knew only distance from the altar unless they cleaned it, and draw them in to its holy placement while telling them "You, O Sister, belong here; you are a daughter of Christ whose identity as human woman comes from this place.  Now, please tell me, what does your spirit tell you from within?" 

 Why, O Church, do you continue to teach one thing and practice another?  As a mother I know this would cause chaos in my home.  My children would be confused and ultimately angry or depressed that they would not be able to trust my reactions and my directions.  They would see me as hypocritical and lose respect for me as their mother.  Are their correlations here?  This isn't rocket science; this is looking inward at Church and self and finding the truth of God within.  We can do this and do this well so that "all will be well and all will be well".

Lord, if it be Your will, help us to get here soon so that Your Church may enter more fully into its fruitfulness and the song of a woman's heart will be one of joy and dancing. With lyre and harp she will go, her and her little ones, down from the altar and into the aisles, head held high and voice sweet with worship.  She will be strengthened by Your witnessing to her identity as child of Yours.  Her spirit will grow in the grace of Your Spirit and she will be strengthened in all ways to do Your will.  Help her, O God; Help me, O my God, to do what I can to make this happen.  AMEN.

Which Spiritual Gift Should Be Exalted?

A few days ago I went to my daughter's school for parent/teacher conferences.  As I was waiting for another parent to be finished I roamed the halls looking at art projects, a prayer corner, scientific symbols, etc.  As I turned a corner I noticed a large colored poster listing the pictures and names of all of the priests of the diocese and the pictures of seminarians and the places where they are studying.  I couldn't help but feel a little disconnected from them as my brothers in Christ.  I began thinking of my own journey in my theological education and wondering how helpful it would have been for me to be noticed by my parish and the diocese as one following her calling by the Holy Spirit to study and write theology.  I also thought about the four spiritual discernment students who have so couragiously faced the differences between their False Self and their Authentic Self and what sacrifices this has cost them.  They, too, would certainly have benefitted from the prayerful support of the parish and the life affirming comments that their brothers and sisters in Christ could have greeted them with.  They are lay leaders of the Church going forward into the uncertainty of faith and they do not even know how the Holy Spirit is using them to bring Him to the church and to the world.

So many of us are so used to being the "other" within our parish community that we do not even make note of it anymore.  The body of Christ in which no spiritual gift is to be above another has created a hierarchical picture of what is important and has been so successful that the laity doesn't even question themselves about the gifts of the Spirit once it has been determined they are not being called to ordination or the religious life.  This is an institutional manipulation of faithful that continues to create an atmosphere in which women and men are spiritually imprisoned and deprived of the wisdom of God. 

In the 1990's Pope John Paul II apologized to women within the Church for the Church's role in denying them equality of dignity.  What a wonderful thing to seek forgiveness but is it truly forgiveness that is sought when change is not expected and demanded.  It reminds me of a political program that I watched one day where a homosexual speaker was talking about the need for laws changing because when left to "reason", homosexuals and others who have lived as different were not truly respected in their difference. They were still the "other". 

The Church with all of its knowledge and all of its grace certainly should be able to move forward in the Spirit of Christ and open wide its doors to the different gifts that are being provided for the sake of Christ's mission.  This should not be rocket science.  So what is the problem here?  Why are there posters with only pictures of men and the special callings that they have?  Where are the women?  Where are the laity?  Why not a wall of faithful for the children to see as role models of faith?  What is the fear here that still keeps us only affirming and celebrating a few?  Do these deserve to be on this poster?  Absolutely, yes.  Do they deserve to be prayed for and assisted in faith and through the means of benefactors?  Absolutely, yes.  But so does every other person who going forth with "yes" on their lips.  They need to be able to clarify their gifts and their vocations within the body of Christ or the body hurts as Scripture tells us; the Church hurts; the children hurt, and most of all of those who feel displaced and limited are hurt. 

We, as the Church, need to change this.  We need to be open to the Holy Spirit to speak up when opportunity comes.  We need to write about our disagreement with this way of presenting our parish.  We need to "see" and "hear" those who are struggling because of it.  We cannot pass this on to someone else for if not us, then who? Amen.

It Is Just and Necessary

In her writing, “A Matter of Justice and Necessity, Women’s Participation in the Catholic Church”, Mary Coloe PVRM presents a respectful and educational introduction to the problem within the Catholic Church of women being prevented from “truly being themselves”.  She begins by citing a letter written by Pope John Paul II where he apologizes to all women for the part played by “members of the Church” in this “spiritual impoverishment” and that this “regret be transformed on the part of the whole Church, into a renewed commitment of fidelity to the Gospel vision.”  What a beautiful and wise foundation to be set for renewal within the Church.  Ms. Coloe goes on to write that despite Pope John Paul II’s prophetic words, there has been little transformation that has taken place within the Church to bring about “real equality” as “a matter of justice and necessity.” 

I appreciated her article enough to have my 14-year-old daughter read it so that she would be introduced to the historical writings of some affirmed within the Church such as Tertullian, St. Ambrose, St. John Chrysostom, St. Augustine, and Martin Luther who wrote words so disrespectful to the spirit of women, relegating all of our sex to be used by males for higher ideals. I told her that I felt it important that she begin to be aware of the “other side of the story”, the “female experience”, that has not had opportunity within the Church and within the world to be heard.  My hope and prayer is that she will see within her generation an expectation, a demand for these stories of faith lived giving us God’s revelation of Himself through the lens of His created female.  I have to say that she was somewhat distressed to discover that what she has been given so far within her faith formation is so lacking in God’s justice; that the words told to her about love and charity and God’s goodness have been so misconstrued within the body of her faith community that it is almost unnoticeable until one comes face to face with its injustice.

As I was reading Ms. Coloe’s article I wrote at the bottom of one of the pages a question that summed up my own distress, “Would the institutional Church truly acknowledge injustices within Herself and spontaneously spring forth within Her spirit to express Christ’s compassionate love and change what it is that needs changing?”  My daughter answered my question for me when she stated “Mom, you know the answer is “no” otherwise this article would not have been written”.  We then talked about how hard it is to know that your Church is sinful in this way. 

This sin that keeps girls, young women, mature women, and elderly women from engaging their “true, authentic selves” in which the Spirit of Christ touches their spirit with His gifts and vocations and stunts them from being fully fruitful within the Church and the world is a sin against the Spirit of God, Himself.  It isn’t just a question of right, or justice, or equality, it is a sin of creating an impenetrable wall against the movement of the Holy Spirit.  When we have recognition by our Holy Father and we have his apology on behalf of the Church, Herself, then what do we call it when it continues to exist?  What do we call this lack of noticeable transformation?  We have to ask the question “Why are women still knocking at the door of the Church and not allowed or desired to come in and express their own spirit within?”  It cannot be called anything less than sin and its continued existence within should cause us to go back and alter all of our ecumenical writings that the Church has done in regards to its pursuit of truth within difference.  For truth is beckoning at the door to be desired, not feared.  The Holy Spirit that moves one to live in a way that is counter cultural, in a way that is leaven for the world, in a way that is a light upon a hilltop will also show the Church, through the fullness of its members how to move forward in penance for past and present wrongs.

If us women do not feel the need to tell our stories of faith for a fuller life at this time, then we need to look deep inside of ourselves and re-discover our desire for true love and do it for the Holy Spirit of God and for our children's sakes. AMEN.

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