Friday, February 28, 2014
Comment Diffiuclty
I think that I have finally fixed the difficulty with the "comment" section of this blog so please feel free to share your reflections.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
NO MORE SIN, MY BROTHERS!!
No more sin, my brothers! I write this and the words on the screen just lack the intensity of my emotion. NO MORE SIN, MY BROTHERS!! I scream this out to you with the fierceness that Christ, Himself, yelled to the moneylenders in the temple. STOP this sinfulness of lust and sex, lies and deception that has seeped into the house of our God. This house belongs to us women, your sisters, too, and His altar is our altar and you, as the powerful male leadership, have allowed our brothers to defile our families of faith and cause trauma to those beautiful children held up at their baptisms for all of us to claim as ours and those vulnerable adults whose trust led them into the backs of sanctuaries and broom closets. And, as if this was not enough, we are deluged with stories of coverups, payments, threats, legal stalling, etc. that continue to emerge even after the initial stories of abuses have faded; stories that carry with them the names of priests, bishops, archbishops, and all the way to the Vatican. This has to stop! We are not above the judgment of God that He has brought upon other cities before us. Yes, the Holy Spirit was given to us to guide us and be with us throughout the ages but never forget that all that is needed for this Church of His to continue is to have two or three gathered in His name and as Noah and Moses and Abraham and Mary all lived, a holy "yes" can carry its faith, its hope, and its love forward.
Last night I watched a Frontline documentary on the abuses of children and adults within the Catholic Church. I did not want to watch this. I had just happened upon this show while flipping through channels and within a few minutes of listening my emotions were jumping between feeling like throwing up, sadness, embarrassment, shame, etc. This is not the first time that I have listened to stories of rape and violence, for I worked with the homeless and poor for ten years, but it is the first time that I have listened to stories like the one where a young 8-year-old girl was raped on the floor of the church by the parish priest and had to wash the blood off of her legs with water from the Baptismal font. He has since died but she is left one among hundreds whose story has not found peace and healing within the Church; one among hundreds who, if fortunate, have found some priests and other pastoral people willing to meet with her regularly to lift her up and affirm her despite the ridiculing of other leadership.
The place of this attack was an intimate place for me for being Catholic all of the churches are our home, blessed and carried within them the Body of Christ in the Tabernacle that was probably only feet away from this mortally sinful attack. Her tears would have pooled on the marble where many of us walk to recieve Communion. I couldn't help but look at her and say out loud as one Catholic woman to another "I am so very sorry". When I watched as much as I could and then went to bed, the prayer that was on my lips was "Father, do You really want us to forgive these priests and the hierarchical system of clericalism that provides a breeding ground for these atrocities?"
This morning I remain saddened at what is happening within the Church that I have loved all my life but my thoughts remain with this woman and how I, as woman and mother, would have wanted to take her in my arms and try to soothe her pain away while scanning the horizon for the one who hurt her as a lioness watches out for her cubs. She spoke of how the priest told her after his vicious attack that "If she told anyone, no one would believe her and her parents would both burn in hell". She talked about how she had been raised in her faith formation to believe that the priestly vocation was the closest one could get to God in this human lifetime. I recognized those words from my youth and I am glad that I witnessed her saying them for I have struggled in my adult life with wondering about God's calling to me, a lay woman, and where in the world I fit among the "greater" callings. I know now that there is no greater calling than one who hears and follows with a holy "yes" and a pure heart. Her story, horrible as it is, has brought wisdom to me in the awareness that God has truly called me to be present within this Bride of His, the Catholic Church, to those who suffer and this is no less than the hands of those who stand at the altar.
In the course of my professional work sitting next to thousands whose life experiences have placed them on the periphery of the "normal" I came to understand that none of this takes place in a vacuum. When children are abused, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews are aware. When wives are beaten, friends and family know. When poverty strikes and a family begins to suffer, there are signs. We are communal and within this we share responsibility. Why? Because God gave us to each other as co-stewards of His creations. As co-steward this morning, I say no more! Your money changing table is being overturned. May all of us women who have stood on the sidelines for so long feel compeled to put on our "big girl" panties, step over that line in the sand and bring cleanliness back to this House of the Lord. We are His daughters and our daughters and sons are being harmed. We need to put a stop to this in the Name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If it means the end of clericalism, then let it die a quick death. If it means that women need to enter into all facets of leadership within the Catholic Church, then may the will of God be done. If it means that we must fight with a fierceness of faith like that of the lioness, then may St. Joan of Arc be at our side. But may God have mercy on our souls if we go one more day with this occurring right under our noses and we do nothing to assist the children and adults in our care. AMEN!
Last night I watched a Frontline documentary on the abuses of children and adults within the Catholic Church. I did not want to watch this. I had just happened upon this show while flipping through channels and within a few minutes of listening my emotions were jumping between feeling like throwing up, sadness, embarrassment, shame, etc. This is not the first time that I have listened to stories of rape and violence, for I worked with the homeless and poor for ten years, but it is the first time that I have listened to stories like the one where a young 8-year-old girl was raped on the floor of the church by the parish priest and had to wash the blood off of her legs with water from the Baptismal font. He has since died but she is left one among hundreds whose story has not found peace and healing within the Church; one among hundreds who, if fortunate, have found some priests and other pastoral people willing to meet with her regularly to lift her up and affirm her despite the ridiculing of other leadership.
The place of this attack was an intimate place for me for being Catholic all of the churches are our home, blessed and carried within them the Body of Christ in the Tabernacle that was probably only feet away from this mortally sinful attack. Her tears would have pooled on the marble where many of us walk to recieve Communion. I couldn't help but look at her and say out loud as one Catholic woman to another "I am so very sorry". When I watched as much as I could and then went to bed, the prayer that was on my lips was "Father, do You really want us to forgive these priests and the hierarchical system of clericalism that provides a breeding ground for these atrocities?"
This morning I remain saddened at what is happening within the Church that I have loved all my life but my thoughts remain with this woman and how I, as woman and mother, would have wanted to take her in my arms and try to soothe her pain away while scanning the horizon for the one who hurt her as a lioness watches out for her cubs. She spoke of how the priest told her after his vicious attack that "If she told anyone, no one would believe her and her parents would both burn in hell". She talked about how she had been raised in her faith formation to believe that the priestly vocation was the closest one could get to God in this human lifetime. I recognized those words from my youth and I am glad that I witnessed her saying them for I have struggled in my adult life with wondering about God's calling to me, a lay woman, and where in the world I fit among the "greater" callings. I know now that there is no greater calling than one who hears and follows with a holy "yes" and a pure heart. Her story, horrible as it is, has brought wisdom to me in the awareness that God has truly called me to be present within this Bride of His, the Catholic Church, to those who suffer and this is no less than the hands of those who stand at the altar.
In the course of my professional work sitting next to thousands whose life experiences have placed them on the periphery of the "normal" I came to understand that none of this takes place in a vacuum. When children are abused, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews are aware. When wives are beaten, friends and family know. When poverty strikes and a family begins to suffer, there are signs. We are communal and within this we share responsibility. Why? Because God gave us to each other as co-stewards of His creations. As co-steward this morning, I say no more! Your money changing table is being overturned. May all of us women who have stood on the sidelines for so long feel compeled to put on our "big girl" panties, step over that line in the sand and bring cleanliness back to this House of the Lord. We are His daughters and our daughters and sons are being harmed. We need to put a stop to this in the Name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If it means the end of clericalism, then let it die a quick death. If it means that women need to enter into all facets of leadership within the Catholic Church, then may the will of God be done. If it means that we must fight with a fierceness of faith like that of the lioness, then may St. Joan of Arc be at our side. But may God have mercy on our souls if we go one more day with this occurring right under our noses and we do nothing to assist the children and adults in our care. AMEN!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
On Our Own Authority
Scripture, as quoted above, tells us that we are the only ones capable of clarifying the movement of our spirits. This is our authority, our diginity, that only we can explain fully from the knowledge of our selves in relationship to the Holy Spirit of God. No other human has the ability nor the knowledge to express in a most intimate way to us who we are, what our purpose is, and how it is that God loves us.
There have been many occasions within the Church and the world where those who have entered into a deeper revelation of themselves through their relationship with God have had to stand up for what it is that they knew to be the truth. Writers have recorded their speaking with an authority that appeared to be otherworldly. Jesus was one of those written about whose noticeable difference as prophet came from His depth of understanding of the Jewish people's covenant with God and subsequent law and the way He opened up this divine knowledge with authority as one "who was God". It is St. Paul in 1 Corinthians who expresses to all the faithful that we, too, have His same authority for our spirit within gifted to us through the grace of His Holy Spirit has the capability to enter into an awareness of our complete fruitfulness and reason for living.
So, how is it, that on so many occasions we allow others to diminish our authority and by doing so diminish our very selves and the worthiness we have of being alive and in relationship to God, others, and the world? How is it that we, as women, have allowed our very dignity to be distorted and compartmentalized so sufficiently that we have played a role in the enculturation of our daughters and granddaughters into this same imprisonment of spirit? Is it that we have been convinced that a woman's life is supposed to be filled with suffering and rejection for imperfections brought about by Eve's sin? Is it that we have been convinced that we are to sacrifice our very selves for the sake of all who appear to be in need of something from us? Is it that we have allowed ourselves to think that God loves us just a little less than the men whom He created for we are weaker? less knowledgeable? less powerful? I write these words and I cannot help but wonder how we have been able to take this authority of Christ and bury it for He has lifted up our worth and told us in His words that we are to "Love one another AS WE LOVE OURSELVES". He has told us to "Rise, go, and sin no more". He has loved us by teaching us that Mary, who placed herself at his feet to listen and to learn, was in the better place than the kitchen busy with work. He has opened His arms to us by lifting up and affirming His mother as first apostle, first woman, healer of Eve's wounds through her "yes" in the breath of wills. And here we stand in this most affluent of ages with our ability to know and instruct with all the authority and dignity that we have been given from God above and, instead, so many of us choose "tidbits" of ourselves to be shared frightengingly behind the smoke screen of social media. We have been blessed with the availability of reaching so many with so much graced knowledge of Him who loved us to His death and instead there are so many times that we focus on "selfies" and hope that others will find them worthy of the superficial relationship that they imply. How is this happening?
I suppose I can answer my own question through my theological knowledge of sin and satan's ability to address our imaginations. He, through his cunningness and subtle ways of using tidbits of truth, can bring to our minds images of pain and suffering and disempowerment and poverty and subsequently bring about feelings of dread and fear. What we have learned as Christians, though, is that there is nothing that he can truly do that will bring us further away from God. It is only us, through our decisions and actions, that bring us away from the One who relieves all fear and turns us back inwards to self knowledge and the discovery of His Spirit within desiring so much to be in deeper relationship with our own. Only then does our fear and despair diminish and we, once again, know the comfort of our loving God and the ceasing of all anguish.
With all this knowledge of the promises of God what shall we do with these opportunities to be in dialogue with one another such as e-mail, facebook, twitter, blogging, etc.? Ask God in your prayers today how He wants you to use these informational advancements for His glory? Ask Him what it is that He wants for you to share in your interactions today? Ask Him how you can use all of your powers and gifts to affect your experiences today with all of your created dignity and authority and then pray unceasingly for His protection and strength so that you may overcome the resistances and fears that you will surely encounter. Then, go out and serve the Lord as one more fully alive in the Spirit of God who knows and loves your very special spirit for He made you in His image and likeness. AMEN.
There have been many occasions within the Church and the world where those who have entered into a deeper revelation of themselves through their relationship with God have had to stand up for what it is that they knew to be the truth. Writers have recorded their speaking with an authority that appeared to be otherworldly. Jesus was one of those written about whose noticeable difference as prophet came from His depth of understanding of the Jewish people's covenant with God and subsequent law and the way He opened up this divine knowledge with authority as one "who was God". It is St. Paul in 1 Corinthians who expresses to all the faithful that we, too, have His same authority for our spirit within gifted to us through the grace of His Holy Spirit has the capability to enter into an awareness of our complete fruitfulness and reason for living.
So, how is it, that on so many occasions we allow others to diminish our authority and by doing so diminish our very selves and the worthiness we have of being alive and in relationship to God, others, and the world? How is it that we, as women, have allowed our very dignity to be distorted and compartmentalized so sufficiently that we have played a role in the enculturation of our daughters and granddaughters into this same imprisonment of spirit? Is it that we have been convinced that a woman's life is supposed to be filled with suffering and rejection for imperfections brought about by Eve's sin? Is it that we have been convinced that we are to sacrifice our very selves for the sake of all who appear to be in need of something from us? Is it that we have allowed ourselves to think that God loves us just a little less than the men whom He created for we are weaker? less knowledgeable? less powerful? I write these words and I cannot help but wonder how we have been able to take this authority of Christ and bury it for He has lifted up our worth and told us in His words that we are to "Love one another AS WE LOVE OURSELVES". He has told us to "Rise, go, and sin no more". He has loved us by teaching us that Mary, who placed herself at his feet to listen and to learn, was in the better place than the kitchen busy with work. He has opened His arms to us by lifting up and affirming His mother as first apostle, first woman, healer of Eve's wounds through her "yes" in the breath of wills. And here we stand in this most affluent of ages with our ability to know and instruct with all the authority and dignity that we have been given from God above and, instead, so many of us choose "tidbits" of ourselves to be shared frightengingly behind the smoke screen of social media. We have been blessed with the availability of reaching so many with so much graced knowledge of Him who loved us to His death and instead there are so many times that we focus on "selfies" and hope that others will find them worthy of the superficial relationship that they imply. How is this happening?
I suppose I can answer my own question through my theological knowledge of sin and satan's ability to address our imaginations. He, through his cunningness and subtle ways of using tidbits of truth, can bring to our minds images of pain and suffering and disempowerment and poverty and subsequently bring about feelings of dread and fear. What we have learned as Christians, though, is that there is nothing that he can truly do that will bring us further away from God. It is only us, through our decisions and actions, that bring us away from the One who relieves all fear and turns us back inwards to self knowledge and the discovery of His Spirit within desiring so much to be in deeper relationship with our own. Only then does our fear and despair diminish and we, once again, know the comfort of our loving God and the ceasing of all anguish.
With all this knowledge of the promises of God what shall we do with these opportunities to be in dialogue with one another such as e-mail, facebook, twitter, blogging, etc.? Ask God in your prayers today how He wants you to use these informational advancements for His glory? Ask Him what it is that He wants for you to share in your interactions today? Ask Him how you can use all of your powers and gifts to affect your experiences today with all of your created dignity and authority and then pray unceasingly for His protection and strength so that you may overcome the resistances and fears that you will surely encounter. Then, go out and serve the Lord as one more fully alive in the Spirit of God who knows and loves your very special spirit for He made you in His image and likeness. AMEN.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Women's Stories
In my morning readings today...Hildegard of Bingen and Gender and Theology...I am left with the question that keeps surfacing since Pope Francis has so graciously asked for a deeper awareness of the theology of women and that is "Is a Theology of Women necessary and is it a healthy movement for the Church?" One of the writers within the Concilium, Gender and Theology, gets to the point of stating that we need to have gender theologies to get to the fullness of justice. What they do is take an indepth look at power struggles, stereotypes, disadvantages, etc. and ultimately, in my words, lead us to the naming of sinful behavior and how we can seek the will of God and enter into a state of renewal. It is using the gender to seek out God's revelation of Himself within so that movement can be made towards moral improvement. A problem that surfaces fairly quickly, though, is that the Christian church has a history of using gender to demoralize and dehumanize, so much so, that Pope John Paul II in the late 1990's felt called to apologize for its use in minimizing the dignity of women. Many people are afraid today that continuing towards a gender specific theology will continue to compartmentalize women in the place of the "other", the "less than", the "one who led Adam astray".
My spirit keeps going back to this idea of a fullness of justice, though, and asking the Holy Spirit "How can we enter this difficult place, this threatening place of uncertainty, to uncover the atrocities that continue to occur towards women and still move with love towards a fullness of understanding of God's self-revelation through men and women?" I think the answer comes through St. Hildegard and many others like her...their witness. Women need to tell their stories of faith. It is simple yet complicated in the fact that most women are not comfortable witnessing to their lives of faith. They feel that their lives are unexceptional and they are more the reflection of the "masses" of Christians/Catholics in the pews on Sunday mornings.
I went looking on the web yesterday for a Catholic Women's magazine that I could possibly contact regarding submissions of writings. I have to say I was disappointed in what is currently being offered because I did not see anything that is addressing in an ongoing way this solicitation of Pope Francis'. There are no ongoing columns regarding women within the Catholic Church. I just get this sense of a very distinct disconnect between daily living of faith and witnessing to the faith in ways that can challenge, affirm, and support others. This may be an impending issue leading to lack of investment and interest in the New Evangelization.
I am not sure what is the best way to engage women in opening up and telling their stories and allowing the Holy Spirit to use them in whichever way He wills. I welcome all ways of trying and suggestions of other possibilities. What I am sure of is that in my life I have been called through all of my experiences to be an ambassador of wonder and possibilities. With women, this means that the Church can use some of its ecumenical understanding of love and difference to be in relationship with women in a fuller and more authentic way and women can be fortified by the women who have gone before and left their stories as wives and mothers and daughters of how they were graced by God's divine strength to move forward in their journeys of faith and how they proceeded to build up the Kingdom of God within the Church and in the world. Blessings....
My spirit keeps going back to this idea of a fullness of justice, though, and asking the Holy Spirit "How can we enter this difficult place, this threatening place of uncertainty, to uncover the atrocities that continue to occur towards women and still move with love towards a fullness of understanding of God's self-revelation through men and women?" I think the answer comes through St. Hildegard and many others like her...their witness. Women need to tell their stories of faith. It is simple yet complicated in the fact that most women are not comfortable witnessing to their lives of faith. They feel that their lives are unexceptional and they are more the reflection of the "masses" of Christians/Catholics in the pews on Sunday mornings.
I went looking on the web yesterday for a Catholic Women's magazine that I could possibly contact regarding submissions of writings. I have to say I was disappointed in what is currently being offered because I did not see anything that is addressing in an ongoing way this solicitation of Pope Francis'. There are no ongoing columns regarding women within the Catholic Church. I just get this sense of a very distinct disconnect between daily living of faith and witnessing to the faith in ways that can challenge, affirm, and support others. This may be an impending issue leading to lack of investment and interest in the New Evangelization.
I am not sure what is the best way to engage women in opening up and telling their stories and allowing the Holy Spirit to use them in whichever way He wills. I welcome all ways of trying and suggestions of other possibilities. What I am sure of is that in my life I have been called through all of my experiences to be an ambassador of wonder and possibilities. With women, this means that the Church can use some of its ecumenical understanding of love and difference to be in relationship with women in a fuller and more authentic way and women can be fortified by the women who have gone before and left their stories as wives and mothers and daughters of how they were graced by God's divine strength to move forward in their journeys of faith and how they proceeded to build up the Kingdom of God within the Church and in the world. Blessings....
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Who Are These "Others" Within the Church?
As I continue to read about the "other" Christian women who have worked hard and suffered much to bring comfort and faith to the homeless and poor, I wonder to myself how they ever became the "other" within the institution of the Church; I wonder until I remember that Christ, Himself, was the "Other" within the community of God's people. He came and spoke with authority about the deeper meaning, the true meaning of the law and its intention. He was able to point out to the Jewish leadership how mistaken they were in raising up the rigidity of the law over love of God's people, revealing to them that faith in God is a "lived" faith; a faith, a belief, that draws one to be opposed to the status quo of the age. It is counter cultural and presents itself as a "light", a "salt", that brings hope and authenticity.
Many of these women tried various things to engage the Church in relationship with their visions and the compassionate love that ensued and the Church responded many times with fear and power. Some of these women were put to death, others were squelched as being too sensual in their writing about their love for Christ, others were silenced because their practices of generosity and assistance shed a less than favorable light on the priesthood of the time, etc. Some of the women who were given gifts of writing had their names removed from the writings while others had their writings burned or banned.
What we have been left with today are thoughts of their courage and bravery as they wrote about their relationship with the Trinity and the goodness that this relationship drew from them to be given to the world as gift. No, not all of these women went forward in sainthood. I am sure some gave in to their fear and distress brought on by their dislocation or the impending doom of possible dislocation and they relented and felt the "woe" of a life lived "less than". A call from the Holy Spirit that draws one inward to be strengthened and nourished by the Body and Blood of grace and moves one outward into church/world vocations places all who are willing to be led into this place of "otherness".
In the course of this reading I am discovering how this "otherness" does continue to present itself within the Church. The theological writers and editors explain that the "other", who sees him/her self as the "other" will, out of fear, curb their spontaneous faith so that their "otherness" that they know exists will be lessened and they will be more successful at fading into the shadows. How sad is that. How true is that. We, in allowing fear to lead us, become less woman, less black, less poor, less disabled, less divorced, less spirit so that we can remain somewhat connected to the faith community that we are taught God wants us to be connected to. Think of what that means for a moment. We have constructed most of our parishes and faith communities to present itself as a particular "way" of living faith that has a particular "look" about it and many within its numbers are attending fearful that their authentic selves might be found out and exposed. It reminds me of a question I posed to our parish council one meeting "Who is this perfect Catholic that we always seem to be comparing someone to?" I was frustrated with some of the conversation and righteous verbage being presented and truly became concerned that there was a visual of someone, other than Christ, that we were all supposed to act like and be like. It needed to be asked. There was no reply but silence can be a teaching moment also.
I have felt like the "other" in many different settings. My need to know "why" put me on the outside of my siblings; my need to witness to a "whole" way of serving the homeless and poor made me "conflicted" to those who wanted a simple system presented and upheld; my need to give my entire life over to the will of God has made my committment to financial responsibility suspect and annoying to some; my need to present God as active within the world has brought ridicule and disrespect on some occasions; and now, my work with Spiritual Discernment and the need to present it to as many people as possible as a way to the authority of self-knowledge and the lifting up in affirmation and celebration by God who graces all who desire Him, I am threat. I leave you today with the words of a Christian hymn that I have sung at Mass recently "Of whom should I be afraid? Of whom should I be afraid?" May God forgive me for all of the times I did anything to make someone else's spirit shrink in shame and fear and may He bring about my salvation through His giving me His cup to drink". AMEN!
Many of these women tried various things to engage the Church in relationship with their visions and the compassionate love that ensued and the Church responded many times with fear and power. Some of these women were put to death, others were squelched as being too sensual in their writing about their love for Christ, others were silenced because their practices of generosity and assistance shed a less than favorable light on the priesthood of the time, etc. Some of the women who were given gifts of writing had their names removed from the writings while others had their writings burned or banned.
What we have been left with today are thoughts of their courage and bravery as they wrote about their relationship with the Trinity and the goodness that this relationship drew from them to be given to the world as gift. No, not all of these women went forward in sainthood. I am sure some gave in to their fear and distress brought on by their dislocation or the impending doom of possible dislocation and they relented and felt the "woe" of a life lived "less than". A call from the Holy Spirit that draws one inward to be strengthened and nourished by the Body and Blood of grace and moves one outward into church/world vocations places all who are willing to be led into this place of "otherness".
In the course of this reading I am discovering how this "otherness" does continue to present itself within the Church. The theological writers and editors explain that the "other", who sees him/her self as the "other" will, out of fear, curb their spontaneous faith so that their "otherness" that they know exists will be lessened and they will be more successful at fading into the shadows. How sad is that. How true is that. We, in allowing fear to lead us, become less woman, less black, less poor, less disabled, less divorced, less spirit so that we can remain somewhat connected to the faith community that we are taught God wants us to be connected to. Think of what that means for a moment. We have constructed most of our parishes and faith communities to present itself as a particular "way" of living faith that has a particular "look" about it and many within its numbers are attending fearful that their authentic selves might be found out and exposed. It reminds me of a question I posed to our parish council one meeting "Who is this perfect Catholic that we always seem to be comparing someone to?" I was frustrated with some of the conversation and righteous verbage being presented and truly became concerned that there was a visual of someone, other than Christ, that we were all supposed to act like and be like. It needed to be asked. There was no reply but silence can be a teaching moment also.
I have felt like the "other" in many different settings. My need to know "why" put me on the outside of my siblings; my need to witness to a "whole" way of serving the homeless and poor made me "conflicted" to those who wanted a simple system presented and upheld; my need to give my entire life over to the will of God has made my committment to financial responsibility suspect and annoying to some; my need to present God as active within the world has brought ridicule and disrespect on some occasions; and now, my work with Spiritual Discernment and the need to present it to as many people as possible as a way to the authority of self-knowledge and the lifting up in affirmation and celebration by God who graces all who desire Him, I am threat. I leave you today with the words of a Christian hymn that I have sung at Mass recently "Of whom should I be afraid? Of whom should I be afraid?" May God forgive me for all of the times I did anything to make someone else's spirit shrink in shame and fear and may He bring about my salvation through His giving me His cup to drink". AMEN!
Monday, February 10, 2014
The Other Within
I purchased a book recently entitled, Women, Writing, Theology, and in the Introduction I was introduced to the concept of "the other within". This is a concept that I am hoping will help me to clarify in my mind and in my heart the "why" as to the reason so many women feel "displaced" as the "other" within the Church and yet we have been so uniformly and willingly used to re-create this displacing scenario for our children, especially our daughters.
There seems to be an ongoing societal and religious understanding that God created woman's dignity, any woman's dignity, less than a man's and it presents itself in her needing to be given a "place", a "compartment", a "way" with boundaries in which to live her life because if she is given an open door, so many keep questioning the status quo of what they are living. If her dignity, her very soul, is encouraged to be discovered, celebrated, and affirmed, the thought seems to be that she most surely will cause conflict and try to move into areas of life that have been determined by societal and church leadership that are not for her. The saddest and most sinful part of this painful picture is that the Holy Spirit of God whose Spirit moves where He wills and touches the spirit of any human that He wills, including a woman's is denied. For me this way of maintaining the status quo seems to be way too close to the unforgivable sin that Christ presented to His faithful. To deny the Holy Spirit is certain death.
As one who has known relationship with the Holy Spirit since a young child I can witness truthfully to His impact on my life. I can also witness truly to my sinful acts when I was most distant from focusing on Him. I find it an amazing revelation to me that as I move myself into my desired life of being thoroughly awashed in God that I am being drawn into this place of feminism within the church and I am seeing with fresh eyes how many women have suffered while trying to be their "authentic" selves. They were and are motivated by the Spirit of God to be all that they were created to be and with that, of course, have approached their communities of faith with a vibrance and joy that comes with being on the right path, only to confront fear, disappointment, resistance, etc. I, too, have experienced some of this resistance by my ordained brothers and yet I have also received affirmation, celebration, and encouragement to keep asking the pertinent questions by others. There cannot be a finger pointing that takes place here only a questioning and a courage to engage reflection.
Fear has always been satan's playground. We have so many fears as human beings that he has an unending ability to play with our imaginations and move us to worry about impending scenarios that certainly will cause our lives to be more painful. It is within this battle of good and evil that the "other" is engaged. We, as human beings trying to reason our troubles away, seek systematic answers; action and reaction. The Holy Spirit asks us to turn away from satan and focus on Him, to discern with Him God's will and to do this we need to begin asking reasonable questions such as "What would it cost the church to "ask" women, or everyone for that matter, how the Holy Spirit is moving within their spirit? What danger would be unleashed if all the faithful were asked about their "spiritual gifts" and those discerned to have "special graces" were lifted up to the congregation as helpmates on this earthly journey of faith? What raucous would it cause to allow adult lay women to have ways in which they can clarify what is happening within their very souls? How would the church be conflicted by those of us who have had mystical experiences to be given a place to express them and have a communal prayer to assist in determining their purpose within the modern day church?" One priestly brother told me of a woman in his congregation who clearly had a mystical experience every time she experienced the Eucharist. I quote him " I don't know what to do with her?" No, he didn't know what to do with her. In fact, it disturbed him to continue to watch her and he came to the conclusion that he expressed to me that most priests do not want to deal with people like her (the other). Instead, they want to say the Mass and give the homily and blessings and have this nice, neatly bound up presentation of Sacrament for the people without needing to be party to this type of supernatural, spiritual experience. As I write this I wonder how in the world did we get here. Here we have this gift of Christ's that is the sacrament of the Eucharist that fills us with His Spirit; here we have this bread and wine that through the Mass and the charism of the priest is turned into Christ's body and blood and yet there is an aversion to the supernatural, spiritual experience of the Spirit also happening in this profound way and the desire is to minimize and disengage? No, he probably doesn't know how to help this woman because it isn't his charism that can but someone like myself who has been given this holy gift to discern could and she would find comfort in her faith knowing that she is not an "other" within the community of the Church.
Take time to reflect today on the many "others" that we have systematically side lined within the Church. Who are they? Why have we done this? What has motivated us and what part do we play? Blessings on your day....
There seems to be an ongoing societal and religious understanding that God created woman's dignity, any woman's dignity, less than a man's and it presents itself in her needing to be given a "place", a "compartment", a "way" with boundaries in which to live her life because if she is given an open door, so many keep questioning the status quo of what they are living. If her dignity, her very soul, is encouraged to be discovered, celebrated, and affirmed, the thought seems to be that she most surely will cause conflict and try to move into areas of life that have been determined by societal and church leadership that are not for her. The saddest and most sinful part of this painful picture is that the Holy Spirit of God whose Spirit moves where He wills and touches the spirit of any human that He wills, including a woman's is denied. For me this way of maintaining the status quo seems to be way too close to the unforgivable sin that Christ presented to His faithful. To deny the Holy Spirit is certain death.
As one who has known relationship with the Holy Spirit since a young child I can witness truthfully to His impact on my life. I can also witness truly to my sinful acts when I was most distant from focusing on Him. I find it an amazing revelation to me that as I move myself into my desired life of being thoroughly awashed in God that I am being drawn into this place of feminism within the church and I am seeing with fresh eyes how many women have suffered while trying to be their "authentic" selves. They were and are motivated by the Spirit of God to be all that they were created to be and with that, of course, have approached their communities of faith with a vibrance and joy that comes with being on the right path, only to confront fear, disappointment, resistance, etc. I, too, have experienced some of this resistance by my ordained brothers and yet I have also received affirmation, celebration, and encouragement to keep asking the pertinent questions by others. There cannot be a finger pointing that takes place here only a questioning and a courage to engage reflection.
Fear has always been satan's playground. We have so many fears as human beings that he has an unending ability to play with our imaginations and move us to worry about impending scenarios that certainly will cause our lives to be more painful. It is within this battle of good and evil that the "other" is engaged. We, as human beings trying to reason our troubles away, seek systematic answers; action and reaction. The Holy Spirit asks us to turn away from satan and focus on Him, to discern with Him God's will and to do this we need to begin asking reasonable questions such as "What would it cost the church to "ask" women, or everyone for that matter, how the Holy Spirit is moving within their spirit? What danger would be unleashed if all the faithful were asked about their "spiritual gifts" and those discerned to have "special graces" were lifted up to the congregation as helpmates on this earthly journey of faith? What raucous would it cause to allow adult lay women to have ways in which they can clarify what is happening within their very souls? How would the church be conflicted by those of us who have had mystical experiences to be given a place to express them and have a communal prayer to assist in determining their purpose within the modern day church?" One priestly brother told me of a woman in his congregation who clearly had a mystical experience every time she experienced the Eucharist. I quote him " I don't know what to do with her?" No, he didn't know what to do with her. In fact, it disturbed him to continue to watch her and he came to the conclusion that he expressed to me that most priests do not want to deal with people like her (the other). Instead, they want to say the Mass and give the homily and blessings and have this nice, neatly bound up presentation of Sacrament for the people without needing to be party to this type of supernatural, spiritual experience. As I write this I wonder how in the world did we get here. Here we have this gift of Christ's that is the sacrament of the Eucharist that fills us with His Spirit; here we have this bread and wine that through the Mass and the charism of the priest is turned into Christ's body and blood and yet there is an aversion to the supernatural, spiritual experience of the Spirit also happening in this profound way and the desire is to minimize and disengage? No, he probably doesn't know how to help this woman because it isn't his charism that can but someone like myself who has been given this holy gift to discern could and she would find comfort in her faith knowing that she is not an "other" within the community of the Church.
Take time to reflect today on the many "others" that we have systematically side lined within the Church. Who are they? Why have we done this? What has motivated us and what part do we play? Blessings on your day....
Friday, February 7, 2014
Spiritual Discernment
The Holy Spirit is moving souls to go "inward" to discover His presence there, grow more deeply in love with Him, and then spontaneously be thrust outward into the church and the world doing Christ's ministry of compassionate love.
As I told you yesterday, God was moving my heart through my series of professional rejections to living more fully in Him. As I began to ask myself more and more questions about my life and my choices and what I saw as my identity, I began to realize that all of the spiritual gifts He had given me had been placed in the compartment of "difficult Jen". I was "too" deep, too intense, too demanding, too desperate....and the day had to come when, in my writing to God (which I did often), He showed me that all of my traits that I had pushed away as "too" were actually His gifts playing themselves out in a very childlike manner. My writing which began in a "Please help me understand format" quickly turned into a revelation of my sinfulness in allowing my spiritual gifts to be minimized, chastised, and hidden, and I was told "never go here again". I was very close to denying the Holy Spirit through my bitterness. Of course, I did not know that I was moving towards denying His Person and power but when faced with it, all of my senses shivered at the thought of the one sin that Christ spoke of being unforgivable.
I began to pray almost ceaselessly, asking God in a type of mantra to show me His way. I loved going to a local college library and looking for books on many church matters and personal spirituality and soon I discovered that I was bringing home books on "discernment". I had never paid attention to that word before and it certainly had no place in my day-to-day living. I could tell that my mind was opening up or shedding its baggage for me to be "curious" about God's relationship with me and His willingness to actually draw me to things. As I read about spiritual discernment, usually through the help of Protestant authors, I became enthralled at its ability to assist in directing the journeying seeker of faith. I didn't know why but I was led to begin taking notes down in numerous notebooks and my vessel of knowledge was being filled. I knew in my heart that the Holy Spirit was my teacher for there was no one else who was feeding me information or direction. My life's desire was becoming more intentionally to do His will and go wherever He was leading me. Church leadership, writing, theology, teaching....none of these things were even in my mind but I was ravenous for more. It wasn't until I had picked up a book on St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises that I sat back in my kitchen chair and laughed. I had never heard of these exercises before and yet here in my kitchen the Spirit himself was guiding me in the creation of a Twenty First century program for the laity that was very familiar with what St. Ignatius had been called to create. I asked out loud "What are You doing with me? This is so cool." Tears flowed, as they always have when I feel the presence of God very strongly, and I remember feeling very humbled. I knew the truth that was occurring and all I had to do was to continue to be faithful and keep pushing the fears that satan would taunt me with away.
Spiritual Discernment is a "traditional" way for a human person to grow in self-knowledge and in doing so discover the depth of God's presence within themselves. One is "called" by the Holy Spirit to discernment even if one thinks they are choosing this direction for themselves. We need the grace of God to have the strength to look truthfully at our life and our choices. St. Catherine was told in the midst of her Dialogue that there is no way that a finite human can make restitution for sins against infinite God. There can only be desire and God's loving forgiveness. God tells Catherine over and over how necessary it is that in our desire to know His will for our lives that we enter into the "holy virtue" of discernment so that we can gain this divine knowledge. I have been witness to the revelation of its ability to transform the lives of students and bring to their awareness God's desired direction and I am witnessing to its beautiful gift of grace here.
The first assignment for a student within Spiritual Discernment is to write their autobiography and to share it with the rest of their cohort at the first group meeting. It is amazing what surfaces during this simple act. That is why I have put this invite out to others..so that they may begin to feel its healing affects and know that community of faith is just on the other side of the cursor waiting to be in relationship just as God within is waiting to be desired. Blessings on your day....
As I told you yesterday, God was moving my heart through my series of professional rejections to living more fully in Him. As I began to ask myself more and more questions about my life and my choices and what I saw as my identity, I began to realize that all of the spiritual gifts He had given me had been placed in the compartment of "difficult Jen". I was "too" deep, too intense, too demanding, too desperate....and the day had to come when, in my writing to God (which I did often), He showed me that all of my traits that I had pushed away as "too" were actually His gifts playing themselves out in a very childlike manner. My writing which began in a "Please help me understand format" quickly turned into a revelation of my sinfulness in allowing my spiritual gifts to be minimized, chastised, and hidden, and I was told "never go here again". I was very close to denying the Holy Spirit through my bitterness. Of course, I did not know that I was moving towards denying His Person and power but when faced with it, all of my senses shivered at the thought of the one sin that Christ spoke of being unforgivable.
I began to pray almost ceaselessly, asking God in a type of mantra to show me His way. I loved going to a local college library and looking for books on many church matters and personal spirituality and soon I discovered that I was bringing home books on "discernment". I had never paid attention to that word before and it certainly had no place in my day-to-day living. I could tell that my mind was opening up or shedding its baggage for me to be "curious" about God's relationship with me and His willingness to actually draw me to things. As I read about spiritual discernment, usually through the help of Protestant authors, I became enthralled at its ability to assist in directing the journeying seeker of faith. I didn't know why but I was led to begin taking notes down in numerous notebooks and my vessel of knowledge was being filled. I knew in my heart that the Holy Spirit was my teacher for there was no one else who was feeding me information or direction. My life's desire was becoming more intentionally to do His will and go wherever He was leading me. Church leadership, writing, theology, teaching....none of these things were even in my mind but I was ravenous for more. It wasn't until I had picked up a book on St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises that I sat back in my kitchen chair and laughed. I had never heard of these exercises before and yet here in my kitchen the Spirit himself was guiding me in the creation of a Twenty First century program for the laity that was very familiar with what St. Ignatius had been called to create. I asked out loud "What are You doing with me? This is so cool." Tears flowed, as they always have when I feel the presence of God very strongly, and I remember feeling very humbled. I knew the truth that was occurring and all I had to do was to continue to be faithful and keep pushing the fears that satan would taunt me with away.
Spiritual Discernment is a "traditional" way for a human person to grow in self-knowledge and in doing so discover the depth of God's presence within themselves. One is "called" by the Holy Spirit to discernment even if one thinks they are choosing this direction for themselves. We need the grace of God to have the strength to look truthfully at our life and our choices. St. Catherine was told in the midst of her Dialogue that there is no way that a finite human can make restitution for sins against infinite God. There can only be desire and God's loving forgiveness. God tells Catherine over and over how necessary it is that in our desire to know His will for our lives that we enter into the "holy virtue" of discernment so that we can gain this divine knowledge. I have been witness to the revelation of its ability to transform the lives of students and bring to their awareness God's desired direction and I am witnessing to its beautiful gift of grace here.
The first assignment for a student within Spiritual Discernment is to write their autobiography and to share it with the rest of their cohort at the first group meeting. It is amazing what surfaces during this simple act. That is why I have put this invite out to others..so that they may begin to feel its healing affects and know that community of faith is just on the other side of the cursor waiting to be in relationship just as God within is waiting to be desired. Blessings on your day....
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